The Joy of Birth

My husband asked me a few weeks ago if the joy I used to get when attending a birth was still there now that I am at a birth nearly every day I'm at work. I told him, regrettably, that it did become somewhat routine for the most part. I am usually busy tending to the needs of the patient, making sure the doctor's orders are followed, lab work is normal, set up is ready in time for the birth and keeping a watchful eye on the fetal heart rate tracing - doing interventions as needed and alerting the doctor of any problems. Pretty clinical most of the time.

I hadn't really thought about it much... But, yeah... for the most part the joy I used to experience as a doula at births is largely gone. It made me sad to realize this.

Then, about a week or so ago, I attended a birth that transported me to that old joyful experience once again. It was a breath of fresh air. I can't put my finger on exactly why this particular birth touched me again... but it did. I found myself laughing and cheering at the end.. and when the baby was actually born, I was clapping! The labor nurse: clapping!! The doctor looked over at me and said, "You can start the pit now." And it snapped me back into reality: Oh, I am the nurse. Oops!

It was lovely. I wish I could say each birth still touched me the same way.. But I am at least glad to say that I am still able to be moved by birth.. If not every birth then some.